More tranny stories later!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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