i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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