i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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