have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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