I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
