Soap is not a condiment
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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