Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
