Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
