i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
