It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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