tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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