I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
