I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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