Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
His hands were made for my vagina.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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