Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Panties = found
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
