i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
