He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is my gift to your gina
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
