I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So squirting runs in the family.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
