No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
