We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
