When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
