So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
