do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
