Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
