I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
