Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize