Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Screwed.edu
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
