i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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