you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
