Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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