I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
