SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
