Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
