Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
