I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
