That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
