How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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