I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
