vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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