She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
