Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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