i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize