I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
