Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
