dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
