Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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