He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
