dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
