Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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