the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
