I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
