I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Can Purell be used as lube?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have tasted many bathrooms
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
