I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
