There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
