A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
