nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will be naked everywhere
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
PANTIES FOUND
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize