Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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