it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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