We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
