Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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