I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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