Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
