So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
